发现人越大，面对生离死别的能力越差。Okay, may be it's just me wtf.

之前出差到Kedah的时候去了一间之前常联系的clinic。因为大大小小的事都要follow up，所以还蛮常跟那间clinic的doctor通电话的。渐渐的变得熟络了，有时候一开声她就知道是我了。

第一次见到她，觉得真人看起来跟电话里的声音没什么差别。只是真的好年轻，她应该二三十岁左右。她外出走进来的时候牵着一位小朋友，大概才三四岁吧。

见面后寒喧了几句，我随口问起了之前也通过好几次电话的doctor，她丈夫。

她语气平淡的告诉我他三月多的时候过世了，当下的我真的有点不知所措。

"I'm sorry for your lost."

"It's okay my dear."

从她眼神中缓缓流露出淡淡的忧伤，不难看出其实她很难过。平淡的口吻我看着也替她难过。

But she's tough. 一个人经营整间诊所，照顾孩子真的很不容易。

难过完了要好好加油，相信坚强勇敢的人会苦尽甘来。



x

L I F Ξ

How's life treating you?
Are you tired?
Are you stressed?
Are you frustrated?



人生嘛，总是很苦的。
你现在不苦，以后会更苦。
你现在不累，以后会更累。
我是聪明人，我选择先苦后甜。
你呢？:)



You've gotta keep your head up and keep going. 
Rainbow comes after the rain, tomorrow will be a better day. 
Cheers! 

How I improve my EQ

*WARNING, THIS IS SUPER WORDY*

Okay, let's talk about one of my worst part-time working experiences that just happened lately. To be honest, I actually enjoy working and meeting different people in the market most of the time but there're these minorities of idiotic people (I couldn't call them my customers as they're those people who never purchased from me but brought up so many issues, and to be more specific, a person who is sincere and interested to know more about a particular product even they might not purchase will not bring so much of troubles to you) that drive me really crazy. Don't get me wrong, as I mentioned above, even if the people DON'T buy products from me but if they're being nice and having good manners, I would be more than happy to serve them and help them out with the product knowledge I have, I still treat them as my customers in this case. Those idiot being I talked about are too "kind" to make me go insane. I HAVE TO RANT, too angry. 

There's one super unabashed and shameless uncle that pissed me off like seriously while I was taking part in Gillette Isis project. Not to mention about how impolite (I'm just too generous to use such nice word to describe his awful manners) he is to walk away with stuff he took from my Gillette booth "secretly", the way he talked and acted was actually what pissing me off the most as he was behaving extremely rude and offensive. 

This Malay uncle (not to be racist just in case you got me wrong, I'll be justifying how he spoke to me in his bad-mannered tone in short) was way too shameless. There's one displayed F1 TOY CAR placed on my Gillette booth and it's been there since the first day I worked in Tesco. To be frank, I've never experienced this kinda shitty experiences before like having others to take away stuffs from your booth themselves without asking or having your permission as if they can have it right away or they can have it over other places. It doesn't make any senses though, however, here comes this incident happened which I think it will never happen but it just did, wtf. I was away from my displayed block (there's one displayed block displaying the on-promotion-Gillette-products) to the home-shelf (which most of the products are arranged over there) to check out my stocks. Came back shortly realised that without having the F1 TOY CAR displayed on my booth where it used to be, it scared the crap outta me like seriously. Wtf it's limited edition how am I going to compensate to my company. I was so panic and I suddenly thought of seeing one uncle passed by on my way back to the displayed block from the home-shelf with his hand holding one Gillette shaver and one cartridges refill pack that I was selling. Never had the time for second thought I then quickly turned and ran after him to check if he had the displayed F1 TOY CAR (shit I just have to keep on repeating by typing this holy TOY CAR in capital letter, cause it's real holy as how funny it is that people even wanted to steal one TOY CAR). THANK GOD he's the one having that displayed F1 TOY CAR, and also wtf. At first glanced when I passed by him I still thought that he was holding one shaver and one refill pack but I was wrong, he was damn holding the F1 TOY CAR and having the shaver covering on top (damn it he thought nobody will notice it). Somebody please tell me what on earth these people having in their mind? Okay never mind, the funniest part hasn't here yet. I then walked over and talked to him politely clarifying with him that the F1 TOY CAR is not for sale but only for display after I found out that he's the one that walked away with the F1 TOY CAR. 

CONVERSATION PART 1:

"Sorry ya uncle ini kereta not for sale, u kena beli rm20 Gillette product lepas tu kena bawa receipt balik & main racing game dengan IPad baru boleh menang ini kereta, sorry ya." Hello, you're the one attempting (or already did) to steal my stuff but now I'm the one who apologising for your mistakes. What on earth? Never mind, let's see how he responded to his pretend-to-be-innocent-attitude. "Oh ye ke? I ingat boleh terus bayar kat kaunter je." 

***Wtf talking you? Can't you see there's no bar code on the hard plastic cover that keeping the F1 TOY CAR? And there's one not for sale sticker AND Tesco sticker on it. How can you tell me you THOUGHT you can have it straight away by paying it at the counter without asking for the permission of the salesperson selling there? 

Funny right, let's see what's worse. 

CONVERSATION PART 2: 

"Tadi I x nampak orang kat sane pun, I ingat u pergi rehat x balik ni." Okay fuck you, seriously fuck you and fuck off. 

***Wtf talking you x2? Apparently he gave a touch on everything displayed on the booth included my personal note book to jot down some notes as well as my sales report AND one yellow card as notice to customers when I was away. So and that's why he would have such thoughts that I was going for my break so it's OKAY for him to take the F1 TOY CAR "secretly". But hey, what do you mean by not seeing me around then you can take stuff from MY booth without MY permission? How funny are these people? Pretending innocent yet super UNABASHED, buay paiseh to the max. Extremely shameless to talk with such ego tone. Putting the blame on me now but please, it definitely sounds better to call you an idiot than a thief. 不问自取，视为贼也。你懂不懂ah uncle? 

Also never mind, worse still after asking me how much is the shaver and after knowing the price is actually rm10.90 but not rm9.90 (there's another shaver having the price rm9.90 displaying beside the one he holding), he decided not to buy because of the difference of rm1. He claimed that it's expensive. Holy rm1, why you so expensive?! 

CONVERSATION PART 3: 

"Oh bukan rm9.90 ke? I ingat ini rm9.90 la, kenape banyak mahal?" 

***Wtf talking you x3? Seriously fuck you again. Oi stupid uncle what you want? Both products only having difference by rm1 and the way you reacted is like omg so much of difference so expensive. Fuck off la fucking cheapskate you the poor thief. He end up asked for some not-so-related stuff and I can feel that he's absolutely not going to purchase any products as I can see his only interest is the holy F1 TOY CAR until he wanted to kidnap it by walking it away quietly. Fuck. Of course, under my expectation, he walked away with empty hands eventually. What I was mad about is that he didn't feel sorry at all about himself being so rightfully on walking away the F1 TOY CAR without any permission, AND using the difference of the price as an excuse giving me the "oh no too expensive" look like it's all my fault. I just can't even... You can actually apologize, can't you? There are customers came over and have really huge interest on that F1 TOY CAR, they ASKED for it as if how could they own that car from me, but not by taking it away "secretly" themselves. They can ask but why can't this uncle?

What on earth with these idiotic unabashed people? Bitch please, breaking the whole new level of the STUPIDITY. They definitely need a lecture and a bitch slap right in their face to recall back their respects to others. Although I've probably killed him million times in my mind but I was still putting the smile on my face simply because I know what is manner as well as what and how does it matter. I work as a part-timer, I showed my professionals but hey you as a customer (okay, I know customers are always right but) can't you at least show some respects? Promoter 就不是人吗？没有我们你上哪找人给你介绍product，没有我们你哪懂什么product knowledge? Funny. 以为自己多清高。告诉你我好歹也是半个大学生，就等我毕业。

Karma is watching you.

Anyway, never mind, I'm normal human being with manners. My mama always taught me things-to-do and things-not-to-do, she always tell me to chill and relax when it comes to difficulties of facing customers especially those that really hard to deal with one. Meeting different kind of troublesome customers are like tasks that assigned to train my EQ, mom always remind me that I actually have to face all these in order to improve. Well said mom, I'll slowly learn it and at the end of the day, I knew there will be something different between me and others who never had such awesome experiences dealing with fussy and unreasonable customers. And most importantly, I knew I'll be appreciated and thanked myself some day in the future for having such great experiences that others might not even have chances to have. I still have a long long path to go till the day I'm ready to step into the social. More and more challenges and problems awaiting me to overcome, it might be stressful or I might even be having harsh time dealing with it but hey, I'm not afraid at all. I knew it, I knew it is the process of growing or turning into a real adult who can just simply laugh it off when people pissed you off or annoyed you. I CAN DO IT. 

人生的必经之路，加油明天会更好。Haha I love how I always ended my post with positive thinking after ranting all negative thoughts. Just great, love my life even more now. X *peace* 

如果你是我的

你突然的联系荡起了我心中的涟漪。

才发现，原来我一直都很想你。

不敢承认，可能习惯了逃避。

连最最最要好的朋友我也不曾提起过，因为我真的很怕一提起就会一发不可收拾。

不可收拾的是那想念你的心。

＂想念是会呼吸的痛＂曾经偷偷觉得这歌词怎么写得那么不合逻辑，现在却觉得好写实。

梁静茹句句都唱进我心里，情歌天后。

想念一个人是可以很痛的，我终于明白。

我想你，可是你呢？

突然的联系是因为寂寞还是因为你也在想我？

不敢想，虽然真的很想知道。

怎么办？不知不觉的就被你操控住了。

开心难过都是因为你。

射手输了，可是输的是我不是你。

我彻底的输了。

从来没有试过那么疯狂的想念一个人，一个不属于我的人。

如果你是我的，就好了。

F R EE D O M

人活着到底是为了什么？

爱情世界里，

有些人活着爱人；

有些人活着恨人；

有些人活着管人；

有些人活着被人管;

心甘情愿，那是爱情的力量。

常觉得爱令人变得伟大，可我觉得好累。

能不能够不爱不恨不管也不被管？

自由多好，像小鸟想飞哪就飞哪谁也管不着。

如果非选不可，就算可能一辈子孤单；爱和自由，我还是会选择自由。

小鸟不属于陆地，鱼儿也无法在空中存活。

而我，属于那自由的天空。

如果有一天，射手毅然决定放弃自由，放下身段，放开心胸，那一定是真爱。

安全感

被动和冷漠是我的保护色，因为我极度缺乏安全感。

太害怕受伤所以有所保留。

一心想尝试降落伞，带来的快感太令人好奇，但从高空坠落的恐惧感却又使我却步。

别爱我，你的好会让我有所期待。

只怕期待换来的只会是失望。

像是乖小孩盼望得到糖果却得不到的那份失落感一样，除了痛还是痛。

可能太渴望得到安全感吧，我越渴望越得不到。

人是不是都习惯忽略其实那明明该去珍惜的东西？

安全感，在越短的时间内得到越快失去。

可不可靠，我自己知道。

梦醒之后，一切又会回到原点吧？

你不知道的事

你不知道的事。
不要以为自己有多了解射手，因为射手永远都有不为人知的心事。
有些事就别过问，也别去拆穿。
不是每件事都该有结果或答案。
每个人都有那内心最深处别人无法触及的一块，与其说无法触及，不如说是不想被触碰的角落。
保持沉默是最可贵的自由，何必强求。
有些事还是不知道的好，没必要一次次在别人伤口上撒盐只为了满足自己的好奇心。

不要爱上射手，射手的冷漠会把你刺伤。

任性神秘疯狂又偏爱自由的射手，你爱不起。